The Brown the Green and the Grey
by Radagast the choco Brownie
Summary: There is a lot to Radagast the Brown that no one knows of. Everyone thinks of him as a fool, but only Gandalf knew the truth. Radagast once had a person he cared for deeply but she was taken by a dark magic which was unknown to anyone but herself. This follows the story of Radagast and how he turned to solitude and abandoned his mission through grief. Movie/book verse. Pre-Hobbit.
1. Chapter 1: Old wounds never heal

Chapter 1: Old wounds never heal

Authors note: This is my first Hobbit fanfic so be nice. It is a pre-Hobbit story and is more movie-based than book based but references to the book will be made. Radagast was my favourite character in the film so I decided to base this story around Radagast and Gandalf before the Hobbit takes place and my own character who is mentioned a lot in this chapter. All events in this chapter are what leads up to the start of the events in the Hobbit and is set 300 years after the events in this story. Enjoy!

On the western edge of the forest of Greenwood (or as of late, people referred to it as Mirkwood) stood a proud little wooden cottage that blended in quite well with the trees that surrounded it. It was a house made entirely out of wood and other parts of the forest like leaves and twigs. The person who had built it obviously had consideration for the natural area and all the creatures and plant life within it. And of course the owner of the house himself was a lover of nature in all of its fair beauty. This man was a humble old man who wore ragged brown robes and carried a staff, he went around healing the animals, sick or injured, and was one of the few protectors of the forest. His name was Radagast the Brown, and his humble dwelling was called Rhosgobel.

A member of the Istari, Radagast, along with five others, was sent to protect the Valar and all of its inhabitants. Radagast the Brown, accompanied by Gandalf the Grey, Saruman the White and of course Alatar and Pallando the Blue, were all members of the white council and were great and powerful wizards. They were sent to protect Middle-Earth in the events that the dark lord Sauron returned to spread darkness across the lands once more. The two blue wizards somehow disappeared centuries ago and haven't been seen since so all that remains of the five are Gandalf, Saruman and Radagast. But unlike the other two, Radagast liked a life of solitude in the forests protecting the animals and plants that resided there. Over the past century he tended to remain in the forest and grew fond of having a much simpler and refined life to those that his companions chose to take. And for this, he was seen as 'odd'.

Saruman often called him a fool for abandoning his mission, but only Gandalf and himself knew the real reason why he chose to give it up. Everyone looked beyond his feelings and thought of him as a simple minded old fool with a thing for plants and animals, but that was only but a small reason why Radagast isolated himself fully away from anyone other than his animals. It was after all a century ago that he stepped foot outside of the forest and made contact with the men, dwarves and elves. But since then, he never stepped foot from within the forest. Gandalf knew the reason for this and in many ways pitied his animal loving friend. He knew at times Radagast hid his true feelings with acts of stupidity and foolishness. And this even fooled the likes of Saruman the Wise, but it didn't get past Gandalf. For he knew the truth. He was after all, there when it happened. That one key event which affected Radagast's life so greatly. But what was it? Was Radagast the Brown really concealing a deep sorrow within him and covering it up with foolishness? Only he himself and Gandalf knew the real story. So deep down, Radagast the Brown was a fellow no one really truly knew.

It was a fine afternoon at Rhosgobel. The birds were singing merrily and the animals lazily grazed at the trees nearby the house. Inside, Radagast sat with an array of potions and potion books all about him on his table in his tiny home. He sat on his wooden chair rapidly scanning through each book and muttering aimlessly to himself about weeds and fungi. Next to the pile of books sat a curious little hedgehog gazing mysteriously at the old wizard as he continuously placed book after book down obviously not getting the information he required. The little hedgehog let out a little grunt and nudged Radagast lightly in an attempt to get his attention. Radagast briefly glanced down at the hedgehog and let out a moan of frustration.

"Not now Sebastian, I am busy trying to find a remedy for that vine infestation on the old oak trees," Radagast then went back to bustling about his books. The hedgehog, this time climbing onto Radagast's lap, nudged him again and let out a little grunt. Radagast then clumsily dropped his book on the floor and groaned before putting his head in his hands. "Oh Sebastian," he began quite calmly "I just don't know what is happening to the forest of late. First there was no bloom in the flowers, then a variety of strange, deadly fungi have infested on the trees, and now this vine problem."

The little hedgehog climbed up the wizard's robes and eventually perched himself on his shoulder as the old brown wizard put his head in his hands in a mixture of panic and frustration. Sebastian tried to encourage the old wizard that everything would be fine by brushing the side of his face onto Radagast's messy beard. Radagast couldn't help but smile at the little hedgehog, one of his numerous animal friends, and stroked him gently with one of his fingers.

It was then that there was a disturbance in the atmosphere. Sebastian and the other animals that were inside or around Rhosgobel tensed up and suddenly became rather protective. Radagast knew something was wrong; whenever his animals behaved in this way he knew there would be danger around the corner. But their senses proved to be a very good advantage, it was after all his animals who alerted him of a goblin attack on his house not but two centuries ago. Radagast leant over from his chair to the right hand corner and reached out for his staff. He arose from his chair silently and cautiously made his way toward the door. Clutching his staff tightly and attempting not to make any sound as he stuck it out in front of him at the door he listened. The sound of a horse grunting could be heard from outside the door and the approaching footsteps rang out in his ears like alarm bells. He didn't think to look out through his window to see who was there. Instead he launched his attack.

Swinging the door open soon after the footsteps stopped, he took his chance and pointed his staff directly at the person standing behind the door. Before realising who it was, Radagast blurted out "Who are you? What is your business here at Rhosgobel?" But immediately shut his mouth when he recognised the man who had not expected him to be all jumpy like that.

"Is that any way to treat an old friend Radagast?" The old man in long grey robes and a big pointy grey hat queried using his own staff to gently shove away the staff that Radagast shot at him.

"G-Gandalf?" Radagast choked back putting his staff away.

"Yes Radagast it is I, Gandalf the Grey. My, I have never seen you so jumpy," the old grey wizard known as Gandalf replied taking his pointy grey hat off his head.

"I am sorry Gandalf, I haven't had a visitor for a while and I guess I am just not used to having company of another creature other than the animals in the forest," Radagast replied before moving away from the ajar door allowing his visitor to enter on his own free will. He aimlessly rushed about trying to tidy about as Gandalf entered the small house.

"I can see that," Gandalf muttered noticing the amount of animals perched, sat or standing inside Radagast's home. The majority of which were birds, hedgehogs and little insects. But obviously Radagast did not hear Gandalf's remark as he decided to obliviously change the subject.

"What brings you to Rhosgobel Gandalf? It must be over two decades since I last saw you," Radagast enquired as his fidgeted about the house like a hyperactive Rhosgobel rabbit. Gandalf placed his staff against the wall and put his hat on a nearby stand as Radagast rushed to find him a chair. Once he came back Gandalf chose to reply.

"I thought of visiting one of my dearest friends and wanted to see merely how you were doing," Gandalf explained sitting down comfortably on a chair nearby Radagast's mountain of books. Radagast paused and his eyes lifted up in confusion before lowing down to a narrowed glance.

"Now Gandalf, I may not be the wisest of us but I surely know when a wizard comes around visiting, and it isn't usually for a social call. Was it you who said, as I quote, 'A wizard doesn't have time to make social visits?' After all, I haven't seen you for the past twenty years."

"You got me again Radagast," Gandalf smiled amusingly "but this time I did actually come round to check upon you. And like you said yourself, I haven't seen you for twenty years."

Radagast made his way over to the fireplace and put a teapot filled with water over the fire before joining his friend at the small table. "I put some tea on the fire," Radagast explained sitting down on the chair next to Gandalf "you must have had a long journey."

"Yes I have just come here all the way from the Shire," Gandalf replied getting out his pipe from within his cloak and lighting it.

"The Shire?" Radagast's eyes widened in amazement "oh yes, Saruman told me of your admiration for the Halflings. May I pry into why you ventured back there?"

"No reason in particular," Gandalf smirked mischievously taking a good long puff of his pipe weed, he offered it to Radagast who had, much to his surprise, declined the offer.

"Putting on those firework displays again were you?" Radagast smiled getting up and reaching for the now boiled tea pot. He then grabbed two small wooden cups and passed one to Gandalf before filling it up to the brim with tea.

"Thank you," Gandalf said as he took his first sip of tea before continuing to answer Radagast's question. "That, and another task I had to do whilst in Hobbiton."

"Which was?"

"Well, it is a funny story," Gandalf began chuckling to himself "I have recently been approached by a bunch of dwarves with the most peculiar plan. Do you recall the fall of Erebor?"

"With the dragon Smaug? Yes I do believe I heard a tale or two about that." Radagast replied not knowing where Gandalf was leading the conversation.

"Well, Thorin Oakenshield, king Thror's grandson, has rallied together a company of twelve other dwarves to try and claim back their long forgotten treasure that the dragon took from them. Thorin approached me not a while ago and asked me to find the fourteenth member of the company to be their burglar. So I went to the Shire to seek a Hobbit, for they are small enough to be unseen by many and are quite light on their feet."

"And have you chosen one?"

Gandalf smiled through his pipe quite proudly "I do believe I have. Bilbo Baggins is his name, quite a young and adventurous Hobbit when he was but a lad, as I recall from my previous outings to the Shire. He is half Took you know," Radagast nodded in agreement even though he had no idea what Gandalf was going on about. Radagast had never been to the Shire, he spent his time in the forests unlike Gandalf who travelled all over the place. Gandalf continued putting a bit more understanding into Radagast's mind about the so called _Took's_ "and the Took's are mainly known for getting into all sorts of mischief."

"Does he know of this quest yet?" Radagast asked taking a sip of his tea as Gandalf shook his head.

"No. But as soon as I finish up my business here I plan on going back to the Shire where my plans to persuade the Hobbit to join the company of dwarves will take place." Radagast then stopped drinking his tea and looked up at Gandalf in confusion.

"And what, pray tell is your business here exactly? I mean, you did not just come to check upon me did you?"

Gandalf paused and placed his cup on the table awkwardly before giving the oblivious Radagast a strange glance. He placed his hands together as Radagast awaited a reply from the grey wizard. Gandalf opened his mouth but no words came out. He reckoned Radagast would have known what anniversary it was considering it was the main event which shook Radagast's world to its core all of those years ago. But here he was not knowing what day it was. It made the explaining all the more harder for Gandalf to say.

"No…" Gandalf began "I actually came here to check upon you in another matter. But I guess judging by your facial expressions you have no idea what I am talking about. I figured you would know what anniversary it was," Gandalf muttered with a hint of sorrow in his voice. Radagast's confused look turned even more baffled as Gandalf turned away sadly trying desperately to get Radagast to get the hints he was throwing at him. Radagast did not respond in that way, and unfortunately for Gandalf, he would no doubt have to tell him.

"What anniversary?"

"Radagast I am surprised at you," Gandalf replied "I came round here to give you comfort and support in a time of grief, yet you do not know what I speak of. Don't you remember what happened on this very day one hundred years ago?"

Radagast suddenly went deathly silent. It suddenly dawned on him what day it actually was. How could he have forgotten it? Perhaps it was all of this fuss over the forest which let it slip his mind. He felt ashamed of himself for forgetting. It was after all one hundred years to the day since he had lost someone very dear to him. But unlike many people dealing with grief, he tried to hide and forget about it as if it never even existed. But deep down he knew it would always affect him.

"It is alright to talk about it you know," Gandalf assured him placing a sturdy but gentle hand on his shoulder as a way of comfort. "What happened to her changed your life."

"What on Middle-Earth do you mean Gandalf?" Radagast asked puzzled as Gandalf went on to explain what he meant by this.

"Ever since her death you have refused to step outside of the forest. You do not wish to make contact with any other being except your creatures, and I think I know why."

"Because I am afraid of losing a loved one?" Radagast snapped defensively surprising both himself and Gandalf.

"No, because you are afraid to love another person who you fear to lose." Gandalf said gently.

"Gandalf, we are the Istari. Immortal beings. We deal with death all of the time, while mortals die, immortals live on. That is the way the world works. And I isolated myself from society for peace and quiet and to take care of the forest and all her creatures. It is only by chance that I gave it up around the time Gwendolyn died."

"You are afraid," Gandalf stated "you may fool Saruman with that _'peace and quiet'_ charade as the reason you gave up your mission, but it does not wash over me Radagast. I was there too you know. I watched as you wept as she died in your arms."

"Enough!" Radagast swiftly stood almost knocking over his chair in the process. "Gwendolyn didn't die due to being mortal, nor did she die at the hand of one. I still am not sure what killed her but what ever it was, it was dark magic conjured by a black sorcerer she claimed to cast out, but it cost her, her own life. Just because we chose not to believe her. The real reason I isolated myself away from society was to help bring order to the forests. I can assure you that my troubles with men, dwarves, elves and all the free folk faded long ago."

"Along with Gwendolyn," Gandalf then stood up along side his friend and yet again placed a hand on his shoulder "Radagast I did not come here to argue. I figured you would be upset by the thought of it, but it is alright for you to shed emotion for her. You did after all raise her like a daughter, and if it wasn't for her death, she would've made a wonderful wizard. But it won't change anything now. I just thought I could help ease your pain."

"Actually Gandalf," Radagast began trying to block out the tears forming in his eyes as he faced his old friend "you actually made it worse by bringing up the matter in the first place."

Later that night Gandalf remained at Rhosgobel. Radagast had allowed him to stay the night and get some rest before heading back to the Shire in the morning. Things became rather tense between the two wizards as they hadn't spoken since their discussion about this Gwendolyn girl. Gandalf had never seen his old friend act so rash and protective before now. Everyone else saw him as a bumbling old fool, but today Radagast was acting nothing like the fool he usually was. No, today he was rather sincere and almost showed his true emotions in front of Gandalf.

Radagast sat on the front porch of his house while Gandalf stayed inside smoking his pipe in front of the fire. Radagast's mind was wondering about the forest and his eyes occasionally looked up at the clear star lit sky. He then focused his eyes on a particular spot in the forest. This same spot brought back many happy memories for him. He remembered when Gwendolyn first showed her face to him around three hundred years ago, she was only a child at the time. Left on his front porch by her mother who disappeared into the woods leaving him to raise her as his own daughter. And oh how he enjoyed her company. Oh, those were the days. Radagast was taken a lot more seriously back then, even by the likes of Saruman, who did still despise him secretly. He often made appearances at the white council and was rarely considered a fool. He also often went to visit the men in the nearby towns and the high elves of Rivendell and of course king Thrandruil of Greenwood that Radagast roamed. But then after Gwendolyn claimed that a dark power was taking the edges of Greenwood into darkness, Radagast wasn't taken as seriously. He loved her but no one, not even Gandalf were convinced that her claims were true, especially when she had claimed to foresee the events. Not until it was too late anyway. He still remembered the day she died. He was sat in the forest tending to the trees when she was carried by a large moose, wounded by black magic dying in front of his eyes. He had of course tried to save her, but she refused to be healed. She claimed to have defeated this dark power that had haunted her visions, and at that moment Radagast knew that she was telling the truth. It shamed him to think he never trusted her until it was too late. His own daughter. But now, one hundred years on, he hadn't exactly thought of her tragic death until now. It hurt him to think of it, so he often pushed it aside and tried to never think of it. It was rare that a wizard could have emotional trauma, but Gwendolyn was more than just an adopted child, to him, she was his child.

Radagast thought over what Gandalf had said. Was he really afraid of loving a person he was afraid to lose? Deep down, was that the real reason why he decided to give up his mission and spend the rest of his days in solitude away from the rest of humanity? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that to be the case. All of this time his grief for the loss of one person had impacted him so greatly. Of course he mourned for the animals when their time came but they were mortal, and over time Radagast had come to know the grief of losing an animal to the shadow of death. But with people, that was a different matter entirely. For like he said, Gwendolyn was no mortal. Her death was anything but natural. She fell at the hands of a dark sorcerer. But he knew there was more to her death than it appeared. For ever since her death, the days in the forest grew dark. Perhaps this was the reason why nothing good was growing in the forests anymore. Either way, Radagast knew that even though he denied it, what Gandalf said was true. He had abandoned his original mission for a life of solitude to avoid hurt and pain from happening again. For Radagast had a kind and simple heart and this made him more vulnerable to being hurt emotionally than the likes of Gandalf or Saruman who were in some ways, more wise and mature than him.

The next morning as Gandalf was preparing his horse for the long journey back to the Shire, Radagast decided to approach his friend and apologise for his actions the night before. Radagast walked cautiously to him and gave him his staff and his grey pointy hat.

"Thank you," Gandalf said as Radagast passed him his belongings. Radagast adjusted his own hat on his head before speaking up.

"Gandalf," Radagast began "I am sorry for being so defensive yesterday. All of this time I have been alone trying to forget the past when it has haunted me ever since the day it happened."

Gandalf stopped preparing his horse and turned to face Radagast looking him straight in the eyes "there is no need to apologise Radagast. Her death hit you hard, I understand that. Even I still mourn her in some way. I understand why you gave up your mission, your grief affected the way you looked towards the mortals and death obviously affected you more than it did the likes of Saruman and myself. Saruman still isn't aware of what really happened, nor does he mention you for that matter. But you still have a big role to play in Middle-Earth by protecting her great forests and her creatures."

"Thank you for understanding Gandalf," Radagast grinned gratefully as his wizard companion leapt onto his horse and was handed his staff once again.

"It is my pleasure Radagast," Gandalf returned Radagast's grin. Radagast then decided to tell Gandalf something he had kept to himself over the years.

"Gandalf?" Radagast began "do you remember when Gwendolyn kept having those visions about a dark sorcerer consuming the lands into darkness?"

"Yes?" Gandalf's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity as to where Radagast was leading the conversation.

"Well what if they were right all along?" Radagast questioned "we know she was killed by black magic and that it was unknown where it came from. But ever since that time, I have felt the forests go dark. Nothing is growing properly and apparently the woodsmen in the forests are now calling this place Mirkwood. Could it be possible that the sorcerer who killed Gwendolyn has returned?"

"I am not sure," Gandalf replied "I am accompanying the dwarves to Erebor and we will probably be passing through Mirkwood along the way. I will do some more investigating into this before we can confirm it for sure."

"Ok then," Radagast stood back as Gandalf prepared to take off on his horse.

"Thank you for your hospitality Radagast," Gandalf thanked receiving a nod and a smile from his brown companion. He then went on to speak "Oh and Radagast, if you do find more proof of a dark sorcerer in these forests, alert me at once and I too will help you uncover the truth about him and hopefully cast him out for good."

"Of course Gandalf," Radagast assured "good luck on your quest to Erebor, and of course winning over the Hobbit to join you on your quest."

"Thank you my friend," Gandalf grinned pulling the reigns on his horse "and farewell to you."

Watching as Gandalf rode away on his horse Radagast stood outside Rhosgobel thinking. Perhaps his theory was correct, or perhaps it wasn't. If the sorcerer who had killed Gwendolyn had returned, did this mean she had not cast him out? He really didn't know. After all he didn't believe her visions until he was too late. But there was more to the story than what Radagast knew of.

Perhaps if he reminisced on it more then he could probably remember. What if he went back to the beginning? To that night when an unexpected baby ended up on his doorstep and changed his life forever.

Authors note: So how did you like it? I know Radagast was out of character than in the movie, but this is a story more focusing on his character and it will vary throughout the story. I have tried to focus it as much as possible on his original character but some changes have to be made to fit to the story. In the meantime, please review! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2: Of lantern lights

Chapter 2: Of lantern lights and whispers in the wind 

Authors note: Thank you all for the support so far and as requested I updated! I hope you like this chapter, it reveals a lot about how much of a father-like figure Radagast can really be. Not to mention it shows more about Gwendolyn's original heritage which will be added on further in later chapters. Enjoy!

It was a dark night. The stars and the crescent moon lit up the sky like dozens of lanterns at a party. The forest was usually peaceful at this time of night. The daytime creatures were now all asleep and the nocturnal creatures slowly began to appear. But within the silhouette of the trees stood a small cottage-like house in the dark; it was the only place with light in the forest other than the sky. The odd flickers of candle light from within the house could be seen for quite a distance away, and a person within the dwelling occasionally made an appearance at the front porch.

Radagast the Brown sat in his small dwelling of Rhosgobel with various lit candles scattered around the house giving him enough light to see. He had also got his fire going next to his chair on which he sat on as he began reading a book on plant life. On his small table one of his injured patients, a small lonely rabbit, lay fast asleep with a bandage wrapped around its leg. Radagast sat there contentedly reading the book and occasionally lifted his head to check upon his patient. Radagast then closed his book and placed it on the floor, in an attempt not to disturb the resting rabbit he crept over to the fireplace where a small metal pan hung over it with a creamy liquid boiling inside. Radagast grinned in a satisfied manner before lifting the pan off of the fireplace with a ragged cloth to prevent the hot pan to burn his skin and placed it on his lap as he sat back down again. Reaching over for a wooden spoon and various herbs he accidentally disturbed his resting patient on the table. The rabbit's curiosity kicked in as Radagast sprinkled a green herb over the liquid and then began to eat it with a spoon. Radagast noticed the rabbit's constant staring at him and abruptly placed the spoon back into his pan and turned his head at the rabbit, he shrugged his shoulders as he spoke.

"What?" He asked the rabbit "a wizard has to eat too you know. I gave you your supper earlier with the last of my vegetables, and now I am resulted to cooking mushroom soup yet again with the last of my herbs. I swear you animals eat me out of house and home. Ooh that reminds me; I must go to the market in the town tomorrow and get some more supplies."

The rabbit then turned its head away rather uninterested as the old man started muttering to himself about getting supplies from the nearest town. Still sleepy after his rather rude awakening, the rabbit tucked his head near his injured leg as he curled up and attempted to get some more sleep. Radagast sat in silence as he continued to scoop up the creamy liquid from the pan and consumed each sip from his spoon. He gently placed his spoon back in his pan when he had finished and placed it to one side. He would do the washing up tomorrow when there was more light and time to do his chores. Radagast yet again picked up his book off of the floor next to his chair and then opened up the page to where he last got up to. He continued to read his book until something, or someone broke the silence in the atmosphere.

An unexpected knock at the door startled Radagast who almost jumped out of his skin at the sound. He swiftly jumped up almost falling over in the process and rushed over toward his small window that overlooked the front of his house but couldn't see anyone there. He made his way over toward the door and opened it cautiously, his stray left hand reached over to the wall to pick up his wooden staff that was leaning up against it as he clutched it tightly. His gaze scanned the front porch for the person who had disturbed the peace but no one was there. Radagast stroked his brown-grey beard is confusion. Someone had been there not a moment ago but had now vanished for some reason. His gaze followed the silhouette of the trees against the moonlight but still no person was there. It wasn't until he went to shut his door and go back inside his home that he heard a noise which made his eyes widen in complete utter shock.

A sudden burst of crying rang alarm bells in Radagast's ears as he turned away from the porch to head back inside Rhosgobel. He stopped and paused briefly before turning back around and glancing down at the floor with his eyes as wide as an owl's. Much to his astonishment there was a basket on the front porch, but it stunned him even more to realize what was inside the basket. A small baby, crying quietly to itself, was left abandoned on his doorstep. Radagast lost his will to breathe for a moment. He stared, wide eyed, down at the child and did nothing but stand there not knowing what to do next. After finally grasping the idea of the whole situation before him he searched around scanning each tree and listening for any sudden movement in an attempt to try and find the person responsible for leaving this innocent child on his doorstep. But there was no luck. Radagast continuously searched the dark forest but had no luck, obviously because it was pitch black and barely anything could be seen.

"Hello, is anyone out there?" Radagast called out but no one answered. The persistent cries from the tiny child got louder and louder and by this time Radagast decided to pick the baby out of the basket. He noticed the baby was lying on top of a piece of paper which now lay at the bottom of the basket. Radagast picked up the letter and opened it to read what it said. Perhaps it could shed some light on the situation before him. The letter read...

_Radagast the Brown, _

_It brings much misfortune for me to have to do this, but you seemed to be the wisest choice for the decision I have now made._

_I am dying. My daughter cannot live with her own kin as she is an outcast like myself, and I had nowhere else to turn to but to one of the_

_noble Istari to take in my daughter as his own child. Like her father she has magic and like myself she is immortal. _

_Treat her as you would your own child for she will prove to be a powerful ally in the dark days ahead. _

_Train her in every aspect of magic you know and take good care of her. I am trusting you with my only worthwhile possession_

_and I trust that you will not fail me or her. Take care of my daughter Radagast._

_With kind regards, her mother._

Once he had read the letter Radagast's eyes picked up a hint of light from within the distance of the trees. His gaze turned up from the paper to where the light danced about between the distant trees fading away by the second. It was a pale yellow lantern light and it was heading further and further into the distance. Radagast laid the child into the basket and left her on the doorstep as he went to pursue the light. He ran through the pitch black forest almost colliding with some trees as he ran. Losing his pursuit with the ever fading lantern light, Radagast called out.

"Hello? Come back!" He cried waving his arms about despite the fact no one could see him because of the dark. The suddenly the lantern light faded away entirely and Radagast was no longer pursuing a light, just total darkness. He stopped running and his gaze wondered around to try and pick up any sight of anyone, but it was no use. Whoever this woman was, she was long gone.

As Radagast turned around to head back to the now distant lingering light of Rhosgobel he felt a cold breeze come from the opposite direction. He then turned back around as a whisper in the wind called out softly "take care of my daughter Radagast."

Radagast was by no means stunned by the whisper in the wind. Never before had he heard such a whisper. It sounded rather mournful with sorrow but at the same time so majestic. But the cool breeze on the other hand made his skin crawl. He could've sworn it had a death-like feel about it which he couldn't fathom out. Radagast nodded to himself before calling back to the faint voice in the wind.

"I will," he replied "I promise."

Once he got back to Rhosgobel he walked over to the porch only to see that the baby was no longer there. His heart stopped in sheer panic, where was she? He left her right there! Oh, not having the child five minutes and already he lost her. What was her mother thinking considering him to be wise? He was no wise wizard. Why didn't she leave her with the likes of Gandalf or Saruman? Now those were wise wizards. Not him. Radagast had a little fit of panic and sorrow on the doorstep of his house until a sound from the inside let his panic quickly turn to that of relief. A cry of delight, obviously from a baby came from the inside of Rhosgobel. Radagast opened the door and peered his head inside to find his injured rabbit and several other animals with the baby on the table. The child was giggling as she flopped the rabbit's ear with her tiny hand. Radagast breathed a heavy sigh of relief as he watched adoringly at the child. He then went over to the table where the rabbit moved away as Radagast picked up the baby and held her in his arms as she began to cry again.

"Ssh, there little one," he cooed stroking her face and her tiny round ears with a single finger. "It will be alright."

Radagast couldn't help but smile admiringly at the child. She looked so defenceless, so adorable, and so completely perfect. And to think from now on he was going to raise her as his own daughter. He started to imagine the thought of being called 'Ada'. Now that was something he had never thought of before. The Istari were not meant to have children, for they had a job to do to protect the Valar, but this child was not his by birth. But the thought of being called 'Ada' by his new adopted daughter would be so weird but so wonderful.

And of course she would require a name. He never really knew of any girl's names, not any of the tongues of men, elves or even dwarves. He named his creatures but never really considered a name for a child until now, especially for a female. But he knew a name would come to him over time, the perfect name of which he would be proud to call her his daughter.

As the night progressed Radagast sat and watched as the baby slept in his arms. He still couldn't get over the fact that now she would be his adopted daughter. It all happened so fast. One moment he was just a lonely wizard in the forest of Greenwood and now he was the new father of a baby girl. And for some reason, he wasn't just overwhelmed by the drastic change of events, he was also rather happy. He would finally have someone else other than his animals to keep him company. And as she grew up she could help him tend the forest and the creatures within the realm of Greenwood. He couldn't help but wonder what happened to her parents though. Her mother had written that she was dying, but she was immortal right? And her father had magic? So why send the child to him? These questions did appear in Radagast's mind, for it didn't make any sense in the slightest. But one thing was for sure. He was entrusted to look after and raise a child for whom he would learn to love like a daughter. He would watch her grow, teach her magic and how to read and write, help her tend to the animals, and hopefully introduce her to the white council, in time of course.

But now of course he had work to do. When he would go into town the next morning he would go get some supplies, not only for himself now but for the child. She needed clothes, milk, bedding and of course a little something to keep her occupied while he was out doing chores. Radagast's heart rate bubbled up in excitement at the whole thing. He knew that it would be different from now on. For the first couple of years his tending's to the forest may be affected because he would have to take care of the child but when she was old enough, she could help him.

Radagast grinned to himself and sat proudly with the baby fast asleep in his arms. He never knew he could be so happy over a child before. It brought great joy and comfort to him to be given such an honour of raising a child. But at the same time it brought great sadness to him. The mother who had written the letter explained that she was dying; she didn't say of what and didn't explain why she hadn't given the child to the father. Radagast had his ideas about what was going on, but they were only theories. Before he would set out for the town of the woodsmen in the morning he would investigate where that strange glowing lantern vanished. Perhaps he would find some answers out in the forest, but all of those answers may not be positive.

The next day he did just that. Leaving rather early in the morning, Radagast assembled his Rhosgobel rabbits and attached them to his sleigh, his only form of transport because he never rides horses, and headed out away from Rhosgobel. It was a bit of a struggle fitting his new adopted daughter on the sleigh but somehow he had managed to secure her in the basket so she wouldn't fall out. Radagast allowed his rabbits ride gently through the forest as he followed the direction of where he had pursued the fading lantern light the night before. His journey took around an hour before he called his rabbits to a halt when a sight was brought to his attention and unfortunately revealed his worst fears.

On a small hill overlooking a large lake he found her. An Elven woman lying dead in the mixture of falling leaves as a result of autumn. Her long brown hair covered her pale face and as Radagast got off of the sleigh to examine the body he noticed a burnt out lantern lying on its side next to her. Radagast tried to fathom out how she had died and that was when he saw it. This elf had wondered into dangerous territory and had been shot by an arrow in the side resulting in a slow yet painful death. Surprisingly there was neither trail of blood nor much blood on the body, but perhaps it had dried up during the night. Radagast took his hat off as a sign of respect for the recently deceased Elven woman. He obviously knew that she was the mother of the child and the same person with the lantern light the night before. She must have ran away from Radagast's pursuit until she collapsed here and died. It saddened Radagast to know this was the way that an immortal being could die. But it baffled him. If her child was born of an Elven mother then why where the child's ears not shaped like an elf's? Or was her father a man? Radagast remembered her mother briefly describe her father in the letter saying he had magic. Few men had a gift of magic and were often known as sorcerers, congruous or warlocks. They were not as powerful as the Istari because they were only mortal, but they still had the gift of magic. Is this why she was left to be raised by Radagast instead of her father? Because of a mortal father and an immortal mother? Radagast assumed so anyway.

Radagast gave her a proper burial in her honour by burying her next to the trees that stood on the hill overlooking the lake. He allowed his adopted daughter to have one last look upon her fair Elven mother before burying her. Radagast knew that, judging by the position of the sun, by the time he had buried the woman it was almost entering the late afternoon. It was rather late to go to the town now so he decided to head back to Rhosgobel.

It was a slow ride back and the child lay fast asleep like she had for the majority of the day. The winds were starting to pick up as the trees and leaves bent with the rough breeze. Radagast, yet again, could've sworn he could hear a slight whisper in the air. It was calling out a name Radagast could barely make out. Several times the name was repeated and the voice began to grow quieter with every whisper. Finally Radagast called his rabbits to stop pulling the sleigh and he listened to the last time the wind blew the whisper into his ear. The word that was called out was in fact a female name that belonged to the tongues of men.

"Gwendolyn," the voice rushed through his ears for the last time. Radagast's eyes widened and a small smile formed on his face as he looked down at the peaceful child. That was her name! The name he had been searching for. It was like a sign, a sign that her mother wanted him to call her that, and Radagast liked it. His mind could now be put at ease without the strain to come up with a decent name for the child. His daughter would now be called Gwendolyn.

Radagast smiled to himself and picked up his tiny daughter and held her close as he whispered to her softly "hello there… my little Gwendolyn."

And with that, Radagast the Brown was no longer a lonely wizard residing in Greenwood forest. He now had a daughter. His little Gwendolyn.

Authors note: So what do you think? I think this chapter is rather sad but so darn cute. I think Radagast will be a great father! I shall update soon, please review! Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3: First outing

Chapter 3: First outing 

Authors note: This chapter shows little Gwendolyn and her first day out into an inhabited town. Be warned this chapter will not be as great as the future ones, but the next chapter will be a lot more interesting. Anyway enjoy!

Time practically flew by at Rhosgobel. Radagast watched as his newly adopted daughter grew more and more each day. He couldn't believe how fast the time went by; it only seemed like yesterday when he first took her in. Already he had witnessed so much! Her first steps, her first words and how she was beginning to love the animals. Radagast couldn't be more proud of her, especially since her first word was in fact 'Ada'. It brought a tear to his eye with joy that day when she first spoke.

Now little Gwendolyn was five years of age. And it seemed the older she got, the more curious she became of the outside world. She hadn't known anyone outside Rhosgobel as Radagast had not taken her into the towns yet or anywhere inhabited with other people. But he knew he would have to eventually. For her curiosity was growing and if he didn't do something about it, she would probably run off and cause mischief. And that was something he wished to avoid.

Today was the day. The day Radagast the Brown would finally take his young daughter Gwendolyn to the town of the woodsmen. It was quite a distance away from Rhosgobel so Radagast assembled his trusty Rhosgobel rabbits and attached them to his sleigh. Setting out quite early in the morning, little Gwendolyn buzzed with excitement as she was allowed to stand underneath her father on the sleigh. She was so eager to finally meet people. Radagast understood her excitement and decided to make this day really special for her. He had arranged accommodation at a local inn and decided to stay the night in the town to give little Gwendolyn extra time to explore the town and the people in it. But the town of the woodsmen was a small town, barely a town really. It was a town where the woodsmen and their families lived and sold supplies on various stalls to people living nearby, Radagast was often a customer there, for it was far easier to buy the items he required instead of scouring the forest for days to find one particular herb. Besides, he himself didn't get out as much as he used to and he enjoyed being sociable in the town, for he had many friends there who all looked forward to his visits.

"Ada?" Came a little voice from below Radagast as he clung to the reins on his sleigh. The rabbits pulling at an exceeding rate to get to their location quite quickly.

"Hmmm?" Radagast murmured paying his attention to the path ahead while his young daughter tugged at his robes shyly trying to get his full attention.

"When we get there, can we get something to eat?" She questioned. Radagast glanced down to see her clutching her stomach as it let off a tiny rumble sound.

"Of course dear," he smiled "the journey should not take much longer."

"Ada?" She asked again, a little braver than before.

"Do you think the woodsmen will like me?"

"Of course they will," Radagast grinned at her releasing on hand from the reins and ruffled her long brown hair gently "what is not to like?"

"Ada!" Gwendolyn laughed in protest trying to get her father to stop ruffling her hair, he only laughed in response.

The rest of the journey, which was rather short, was made in silence. Only the ruffle of leaves that the sleigh ran over and the winds beating against their ears was the only sounds that could be heard. Gwendolyn pressed herself closer to her father as he winds grew harsher against her fragile ears. Radagast was a little surprised to find her wrapped around his brown robes in an attempt to protect herself from the morning cold. He smiled simply and continued to let his rabbits pull the sleigh, now at a much calmer rate than before. Gwendolyn suddenly gasped as she gazed over at a passer by, a middle aged man carrying a large amount of wood in his sturdy arms. She immediately glanced up in awe towards Radagast who had noticed her attentions rise as they passed the man. A large hint of eagerness sprang on her bright pink cheeks and a large grin formed on her face. Radagast grinned back and then motioned his head towards the road ahead.

"Yes Gwendolyn," he began warmly "welcome to the town of the woodsmen."

Gwendolyn was in awe at the small town ahead. Many villagers, young and old, went about their day to day lives barely acknowledging the old wizard and the young girl as they rode on the sleigh to the inn they were spending the night in. The majority of the houses in which the townsmen lived in were small cabins, very similar to Rhosgobel itself. But some varied in size depending on the amount of wood used to build each dwelling. When Radagast finally called the rabbits to an unexpected halt, Gwendolyn was the first to depart from the sleigh. She literally leaped off of the sleigh and ran off through the trees before Radagast could even blink. Her adrenalin had kicked in and he would find it extremely difficult to control her.

"Gwendolyn!" Radagast called out as he began untying his rabbits from the sleigh, each rapidly running back into the forest before one of the woodsmen could even think to poach them for food, "get back here right now young lady!"

Gwendolyn did as she was told and ran back to her father. Once he had finished untying the last rabbit he felt a sudden tug on his sleeve and gazed down only to be pulled about the forest by his young daughter. Many of the villagers watched amusingly as the poor old wizard was being taken hostage by a hyperactive five year old girl.

"Ada, Ada, look!" Gwendolyn shouted at the various stalls on the market "look at all the nice things!"

"Yes dear," Radagast replied trying to release his arm from her tiny grip so he could hold her hand instead "now you know where all of your items come from."

"I thought you made the things," Gwendolyn looked up at her father in confusion as he shook his head.

"Not everything," Radagast admitted blushing slightly as an array of bustling women chuckled towards him as they walked past "the cushions and clothes are made here, I seriously doubt I could sew."

"But you can do anything Ada," Gwendolyn grinned giggling to herself shyly. Radagast also couldn't help but chuckle at this comment, even though he knew it wasn't true her faith in him never failed to cheer him up.

Radagast and Gwendolyn continued to look around the various stalls and occasionally buy something they both needed. Gwendolyn, now becoming rather shy in the growing crowds of people, stuck close to her father at all times. She held on to his cloak tightly feeling slightly threatened by the crowds of taller people gathering around her. She felt rather vulnerable and Radagast had noticed her change in behaviour also.

As soon as they were finished searching around the market, Radagast took Gwendolyn away from the crowds and headed over to a rather large shack nearby where he had left his sleigh. Gwendolyn's curiosity had now re-emerged as Radagast led her up to the front porch and gently knocked three times on the door. Gwendolyn hid behind her father rather timidly as the door swung open to reveal a rather bulky looking man with a white apron wrapped around his large waist. He wore a scowl as the door flew open surprising poor Radagast as he almost jumped back. He kept an arm behind his back ushering Gwendolyn to stay behind him. She almost squealed in fear as the man glared down at the old wizard. His menacing frown rather unexpectedly turned to a giant grin and as his huge hand went to pat Radagast's shoulder, Gwendolyn got the wrong impression and screamed loudly grabbing her father's cloak and hiding behind him in fear.

"Radagast you old coot, it is so good to see you again!" The man grinned patting the old wizard's shoulder as Radagast returned the gesture, just not as fierce to the man who towered over him.

"Likewise Celorn," Radagast smiled noticing the man's attention's focused behind him. Little Gwendolyn hid behind her father's cloak shyly poking her head out with a slight curiosity at the large man standing before her.

"Who is this then Radagast?" Celorn pointed in the direction of Gwendolyn with a bulky arm. Radagast simply gazed down at his shy daughter and gave her an encouraging look signalling to her that it was alright.

"This is my daughter Gwendolyn," Radagast explained causing Celorn to almost choke with surprise. He had obviously known Radagast for years, and never before did he mention of a daughter.

"Well…" Celorn began trying to get over the surprise "it is nice to meet you Gwendolyn."

"Hello," Gwendolyn said barely a whisper as she shyly retreated back to her father again as a shield. Radagast simply laughed at his child's lack of courage. And here was she wanting to explore the town and meet new people. He guessed it wasn't what she was expecting, but she was only five and this was all new to her so it was perfectly understandable for her to rely on him like that.

"Well what are you standing out there for?" Celorn asked boldly then grinned cheerfully "come on in!"

"Don't mind if we do," Radagast smiled as he placed his staff in front of him before heading inside the large hut soon followed by weary Gwendolyn.

Celorn, the owner of the establishment, had placed them down on a small table in the far corner of the room. A few people sat on other tables scattered about the room minding their own businesses while drinking merrily. Radagast placed his hat on the table and his staff against the wall. He watched Gwendolyn sit on the chair, barely reaching the table and not close to touching the floor, as she fidgeted to herself nervously.

"Enjoying yourself?" He enquired to her and she nodded shyly.

"Yes. It is just a bit…" she struggled to find a word to fit her situation. She was only five after all and still finding out new words to say.

"Overwhelming?" Radagast added grinning at her as she nodded not fully understanding what the word meant. Radagast's undivided attention was suddenly interrupted when someone from across the room called out his name. It was Celorn, and he ushered Radagast towards him. Radagast then glanced over to Gwendolyn and handed her a book of tales and folklore that lay discarded on the table and stood up. "I will be right back Gwendolyn dear."

Radagast rushed over to his friend who stood behind the small bar serving drinks, mostly ale, to customers. Celorn handed his last customer his cool beverage before tuning to Radagast motioning towards Gwendolyn as he did so. "So, how did you get a daughter?"

"Well," Radagast laughed rather nervously "it is a funny story."

"I thought you Istari were not meant to have children of your own," Celorn replied causing Radagast's eyes to widen in surprise. His friend had his ideas mixed up.

"Oh no it isn't like that!" Radagast defended then edging his face closer to Celorn before muttering to him without the risk of Gwendolyn overhearing "she was left on my doorstep as a baby by her dying mother. She was left for me to raise as my own child and I vowed I would."

"I see," Celorn breathed finally grasping full knowledge on the subject "but she does not know about her true heritage?"

"Nor does she need to," Radagast finished "not yet anyways. She is far too young to understand and she looks to me as her real father."

"Just as long as you tell her when she is older," Celorn replied grasping a cloth to wipe down the table in front of him "because if you do not the consequences will be rather grim."

"She is only five Celorn," Radagast mentioned calmly "not even my fellow wizards know of her yet. No one but the people of this village and myself know of her."

"You keep her cooped up in the cabin of yours in the forest and she will only get herself into mischief," Celorn replied.

"That is why I plan on taking her to other places as she grows older," Radagast explained then turning his attention back over to Gwendolyn who sat in the corner attempting to read the book in front of her. She looked quite intrigued at the book as she flicked through it, her face lit up every now and then when she turned a page.

"I'll get your room ready now Radagast," Celorn patted his old friend's shoulder and departed from the bar and headed to the small stair case where a few rooms were above the place. Radagast then made his way back over to Gwendolyn who grinned up at him and continued to read.

"Ada, this book is good," she hinted as Radagast took the book from her and quickly flicked through it himself. Many of the old tales were aimed towards children, nothing too drastic like the stories of Sauron or Morgoth were in it. For those tales were often seen as bad omens and even scared the adults of the realm. Radagast, flicking through the book with a curious eye, noticed that in a certain few tales, he was actually there to witness them first hand. For he was after all an immortal Istari and one of the five powerful protectors of Middle-Earth and had witnessed many events ever since he arrived to protect the Valar.

Radagast's thoughts then ventured off into a world of their own as the occasionally did. He was thinking about what Celorn had said about telling Gwendolyn the truth about her true heritage. He knew he would have to do it eventually, along with introduce her to Gandalf and Saruman. He dreaded that too. For Saruman in particular never understood him and had grown to dislike him after he was forced to work with Radagast when they first ventured to Middle-Earth. Gandalf would no doubt also think of the bad reasons for raising a daughter but Radagast knew that he would soon warm to her. But his concerns stayed with Saruman. He hoped to introduce her to him when she was old enough to understand his selfish and cruel attitudes towards himself and, no doubt, towards her. Therefore he would keep her a secret for as long as possible from the White Council, just until she was more mature and had a larger grip on her powers.

Radagast's eyes wandered about in a world of their own until they noticed a small pink hand wave in front of them. Radagast's gaze broke and he was immediately dragged back into reality by his flustered daughter.

"Ada?"

Radagast gazed down at his daughter and smiled "sorry Gwendolyn dear, you just caught me off guard for a second there. What were you saying?"

"I said this is a good book," Gwendolyn repeated pointing at the book Radagast still grasped with an open page. Radagast glanced down to where she pointed and swiftly handed it back to her once realizing what she was insinuating. "Do you think Mr. Celorn would let me keep it?"

Radagast grinned at his daughter and then stood up tucking his seat under the table. He grasped his daughter's tiny fragile hand as she too stood up from her seat. Leading her towards the staircase to which led to their room, he spoke with a sly tone. "Of course he will, I believe he still owes me a small favour anyway."

And so Gwendolyn would enjoy the rest of her stay in the small town of the woodsmen. Radagast no longer pondered on the dreaded thought of his daughter's future introduction to Gandalf and Saruman for he knew it would be a while before either of them came to visit him. They were after all too busy to care about his miserable existence in the forests of Greenwood. And he had no intention on telling either of them until the time was right and Gwendolyn was ready to meet them. Until then, he would enjoy every moment with his daughter and watch her grow with each day passing. And when she came to the right age, he would do as her mother had instructed and teach her every aspect of magic he knew of. Apart from black magic of course, for that was one type of magic he wished to avoid.

But unfortunately for Radagast, black magic had a key part to play in both of their futures and would lead one of them down a path to which she could not escape.

Authors note: Alright now we've got the boring chapter out of the way with we can now look towards Gandalf's appearance in the story. Yes that is right, in the next chapter we shall see Gandalf's reaction to little Gwendolyn. Stay tuned for more and please review! Thank you.


End file.
